oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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