That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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