my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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