Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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