If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
