whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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