Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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