Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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