the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize