Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
