Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
