I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
