And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
