I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
