I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
