I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
last night I used snow as a chaser
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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