i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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