Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
