6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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