I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
