shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
