I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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