the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
