I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
