I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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