the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
