Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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