His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
