woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
