so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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