i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize