Kiss
Puke
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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