i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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