Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
