I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
