i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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