I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize