Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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