I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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