I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
