Dual....:-)
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
