I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
