Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
