He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
