No awkward lesbian experiences without me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
