Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
