I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
