Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize