i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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