they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
