This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
