the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
