so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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