I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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