I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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