were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
