bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My cat gives me a boner
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm at about main and main street
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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