He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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