I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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