she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
