so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
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I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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