Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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