when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
