Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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