remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
