It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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