Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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