my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
