my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize